Cancer New Moon Newsletter
How wide can I open my heart to be seen?
As the sun nears the final degrees of Cancer, we have a late-season New Moon in the sign of the mother to remind us to prioritize nourishment, self-care, and connecting to our hearts.
Cancer’s superpower is the capacity to touch people’s hearts, and we can only do that when we allow others to touch ours. I have been reflecting on this quite a bit lately as I write and share. My mantra is “More Heart!”
I have three planets in Cancer - Sun, Mercury, and Mars. This New Moon hits my Mars almost directly. Mars in my chart is at 26° Cancer, and the new Moon is at 24° Cancer.
Mars is work, sexuality, exertion, masculinity, and penetration. In the Gene Keys, your Mars placement is the sphere of EQ - emotional intelligence. The shadow points to your emotional defense patterns, the gift to your emotional power.
Vulnerability
Maybe you’ve noticed, but I have been making it a point to write more heartfelt posts and talk about my experience. I hope to touch down into the depth of my feelings, in the hope that maybe someone else might be touched by it.
Recently, I was at an event hosted by a friend. We ate breakfast, then everyone had an opportunity to share. I decided to share about the death of my father, as it was the day before Father’s Day.
Toward the end of my time, I noticed my mind trying to take over. “Wrap a bow on this, Andy. What’s the point?”
And I just let it go. I let my heart finish. My mind wanted there to be a lesson, some frame that people could take with them, something for the mind to name. It felt especially vulnerable to just say what emerged from my heart. I felt very opened up, unsure if anything I said resonated with anyone there.
One person, mercifully, approached me immediately after I left the stage to thank me and praise my capacity to both touch people with my heart and make people laugh from an authentically vulnerable place. This was impactful for me.
I had to leave after my share, so I didn’t get to stay for the rest. The host later texted me thanking me, saying that I set the tone for everyone that followed to share about their relationship with their father. My open-hearted vulnerability gave others permission to be really vulnerable.
And this is where Cancer really shines. Vulnerability is the greatest gift Cancer has, and sometimes, needing to make something relevant to everyone by providing an intellectual lesson actually diminishes that power.
The openness of, “Here is what comes up when I make contact with the softness of my heart”, is something really special.
I notice a pressure to “put a bow” on things. I notice a belief that there has to be some kind of distilled wisdom, some “point” to it.
Doubling Down on Your Superpower
When I was in High School, I played Lacrosse. It took me until Senior year to develop any real work ethic. I did have a natural skill for some parts of the game though, even if I wasn’t yet physically gifted enough to excel. I had great “stick skills” for a big man. I could throw and maneuver through crowds better than most, as it turned out. I just couldn’t run for very long, and couldn’t keep up with the faster players.
After one year, my coach gave us all assessments. Even though there were few who had stick skills like I did, he pointed to this as a potential area for improvement. I was surprised to see him challenge me to be better in that way, but, in hindsight, it makes all the sense in the world.
Many times, I would get “good enough” at a particular skill, and then look to learn another.
What if, instead of being satisfied, I had chosen to go all in on one of those skills?
This is the idea of doubling down on what makes you special.
For me, I am now doubling down on my heart.
More Heart
I’ve gotten really good feedback from the posts I have made lately, where I open up my heart, share my experience, and let people into my process.
I notice I feel both comfort and frustration when I realize that I have to give even more of my heart.
“Isn’t this enough yet?”
I’ve spent the last couple of years exploring fairly high-level intellectual pursuits. I’m passionate about all of them, and yet, I wonder if I have been holding back my true power. I wanted to be able to speak the language of the heart and the mind.
And I’ve learned a lot. And after all of that, after writing thousands of words trying to explain eloquently what I think we need to do in a given moment, it’s led me home to my heart.
It’s not my ability to synthesize and translate complex ideas that makes me unique.
It’s my willingness to open my heart, bare it to be seen, and try to speak from that place. To put words to feelings, and to stay connected to those feelings as I write and speak.
And then do it more.
Can I bring more heart into this exchange?
And can I leave it all there, messy, broken, seemingly without a point?
Or is the point in expressing itself? Is the point to be messy?
Can I use the mechanisms of the mind to join our hearts?
Will you let me touch your heart? I promise I’ll care for it like it is my own.
Because it is.
The Authentic Relating Games Night last weekend was superb. Everyone shared, everyone connected deeply and was seen and heard. Stay tuned for more AR events.
I have a new exclusive offering opening up soon. Keep your eyes peeled, and if you’re interested in being part of a group of men embarking on an 8-week intensive journey to claim their massively transformative purpose, book a call with me.