Structure or Squander: How to hold yourself with reverence
Closing the gap between our stated priorities and our lived priorities
“I Know You’re a Busy Man…”
I have a client who loves to leave me voice notes between our sessions. Often, he starts by saying, “I know you’re a busy man…”—and every time, it makes me chuckle. He’s trying to be considerate, but I lead a spacious life by design. I’m not busy in the conventional sense; I’m just fiercely protective of my time and accountable to my priorities.
To an outsider, disciplined people might look “too busy” to chat. But in reality, they know how they want to spend their time and don’t compromise it for every urgency that comes knocking.
Which makes me wonder: if most of us say we value our time, why do we so often squander it on distractions, doom-scrolli
ng, or tasks that never move the needle toward our biggest goals?
The Systems Trap
Recently, I was onsite with a consulting client to implement changes using Notion. We had all the right tools laid out, the features were promising—but about halfway through, I realized we were wasting our time. My client was inundated with interruptions: Apple Watch vibrating, the phone ringing, and colleagues stepping in with questions that “just couldn’t wait.” None of it was moving the business forward.
It dawned on me: this wasn’t a systems problem. It was a discipline problem. No matter how seamless the tool, if the person using it is constantly bombarded—and more importantly, allows themselves to be bombarded—nothing changes.
That’s the real challenge. It’s much simpler to say, “Give me a new app or a new planner,” than to admit our behaviors need to change. Yet without discipline, any system collapses.
Discipline Defined
I like to define discipline as:
Embodying your long-term vision on a day-to-day basis.
Business owners often want a magical solution so they can remain the same person yet somehow produce different results. They don’t realize it’s fundamentally about who they’re becoming. Jim Collins famously wrote about a “culture of discipline” in Good to Great, highlighting that true greatness emerges from disciplined thought and action, sustained over time.
But discipline isn’t a punishment. It’s about drawing a clear line in the sand, deciding what you will and won’t tolerate. When you do that, your environment—or your employees, your clients, your friends—eventually adapts around that line.
So Why Do We Resist?
Chaos can be comfortable. It lets us blame external forces: “That phone call threw off my whole day,” or “I had no choice but to cancel because things got busy.” We keep the focus outside ourselves, avoiding the inconvenient truth that we need to change.
The most jarring part? Your present habits show you the future you’re building. Check your calendar, bank statements, browser history, and to-do lists: that’s what you’re prioritizing in real time. If you hate what you see, it may be time to realign your actions with the person you truly want to become.
Defending Your Time
Peter Drucker’s The Effective Executive has a foundational principle:
Know thy time.
Effective people are hyperaware of where their minutes go. They defend their time because they know exactly what they need to achieve. If there’s a gap between your stated priorities and your lived reality, start by tracking your time or doing a daily review. Ask, “Did I put my best energy into what matters most today?”
Small Shifts, Big Results
If you’re wondering, But what if I really don’t have the time?, recognize that question for what it is: often a deflection. Instead, ask yourself, What small shift can I make today? For instance, if the first thing you do at your computer each morning is open social media, that’s your real top priority. What if you flipped the script and started with the most important work instead?
Tiny changes add up. If the chaos in your life is drowning out your goals, you can decide—right now—to stop the bleeding. It might be uncomfortable at first, but no more uncomfortable than living out of sync with who you want to be.
Discipline Is Not Torture
Discipline isn’t about denying yourself joy. It’s about claiming a deeper joy that comes from living in alignment with your highest vision. Sometimes that vision requires tradeoffs: for example, my wife and I are making big financial moves this year. We’d love to rent a lakeside retreat for a week, but we’re choosing not to—because our bigger priorities need the time and resources. That’s not deprivation; it’s clarity.
If you know where you want to go and embody that future self now, you’ll discover discipline can be both challenging and liberating. It sets you free to spend your time where it truly matters.
The Invitation
So I’ll leave you with a simple question: What’s your first move? The next time you open your laptop, receive a paycheck, or carve out ten minutes of your day, think: “What do I truly value?” Then act in alignment with that.
At the end of the day, you can either be busy and stressed, or you can be deeply engaged and purposeful. The difference isn’t how much time you have—but how firmly you protect it.